FAMOUS QUOTES BY ME.....(Submitted by MR. H)

It is so awkward reading it, even now. This is how he remembers it.

1. We tried meeting up with my dad's other family but it's like they don't care about us.
2. I was thinking earlier that you would look good in a suit with that hair.
3. Your kissing is too rough. Let me show you how to do it.
4.If I got pregnant I would just disappear and be a nun in some convent.
5. You have no backbone.
6. No I don't have any thongs, you wanna buy me one?
7. You went to buy some Viagra?
8. This is me when I was small.
9. I saw you from the balcony talking to ******. You actually looked happy.
10.You know why Freddie has 200 b**s? He listens.
11. You never listen.

I don't think I had that horrible English.

The Hidden Notes on the guitar

I still haven't had the hang of it yet. Rejection I mean. There are two kinds of it. The direct bitter repulsion and the slow but horrible drifting. I have experienced both. Neither is easy but I prefer the direct one. The slice of the knife is fast that at least I can pretend to forget it.

Today I happened to realize that I am going through the second type. He doesn't seem to put effort into our little conversations. I am not the one who waits on the sidewalk. But it just seems unfair to myself to hold off a chance at excitement. The strumming of my heart strings make me float away into some Spanish fairy tale. And with the little talks, sweet nothings, I wonder if its the same man that I have been talking to on the other end of the phone.

I have that hidden side of me too. But she is not a secret or a pretense. She serves to surprise and blow apart every notion that he has about me. He on the other hand only teases me just to leave me begging for more of the lies and less of the truth. Those are the hidden notes that play when the song is too sad to listen to.

The streets get way stranger each time I step out

Acne and bushy eyebrows are not the typical sexy girl trade-mark. That's why I am convinced some people have got their eyes turned inside out. The definition of sexy as by my-too-obvious google search include; alluring, provocative, and sensual. My favorite one is toothsome; I just think of my weird faces. Puleeease! The idea of someone looking at me and the first word that beams in his head is alluring seems far-fetched. Honestly, most times I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. It's boring. But today everyone kept staring at me, according to my mom. I don't know what the deal was. As far as I know, I had nothing on my face (oh, except the ever annoying acne). Urgh!

The worst thing is to get compliments from someone you would try so much to avoid e.g. a drunk guy, those mentally ill guys that walk around pointing to imaginary stuff. Yah I haven't been spared by them. One of them had walked up to me and said, I know you, we met in Mombasa and we had a lot of fun. Worst thing, my mom was with me. None of it were true coz I haven't been to the coast in like 1O years!! Bloody hell. I just rolled my eyes and gave him a death stare which he took seriously and walked away.

Last year I was attacked by some two goons. They were both high and they wanted to snatch my bag. The whole incident was messy so I'll spare the scary and exhausting details. I remember pulling one of them off the boy who had tried defending me. He flew across the road and into the ditch while I tried to save my friend from an oncoming bus. I ended up breaking down when I saw that they were not going to stop, even with my mother's pleas. As soon as my eyelashes were soaking in tears I got their attention. Tables turned, they begged me to stop crying. One actually implored and occasionally grabbed my shoulders and spoke sternly. So I made myself stop and thankfully I didn't lose my bag.
Sometimes I dread walking to the shops. I might meet another stranger and end up losing my cool. Bad luck or just plain bad aura, the streets just get stranger each time. That's a little part of my life.

Villains are the New Heroes

I am one crazy girl when something goes wrong. I find myself running away from the good and facing the bad. Talk about a weird life. I  fiercely defend those that are close to me. Who ever knew how human beings operate. Someone like Hitler loved his dogs and hated Jews, his fellow human beings. If I were alive that time I would have probably preferred to be a dog. I once dreamt that some old woman had killed my cat. All common senses were shut down immediately as I avenged my cat in a bloody brawl.

Can someone love me that way? If my cat would stab someone for me then I would know cats are better than dogs. What the heck am I even talking about!

I am the girl that farts in front of the boy that she likes. I don't know how I'll end up having the best people from my worst behaviour. Girls aren't that excited about the idea of having a neurotic half psycho as a friend. Me neither. But the fear draws some close to me. I thrill, I hurt and love at the same time. I bite and kiss thereafter. It would make sense if someone wouldn't want to stick around me. My bloodsuckers are sure to do good work of tearing up their hearts and exposing their little scared-y souls. Okay I sound crazy. 😁😤😏

IF I COULD FREEZE THINGS!!

19^th June 2013 00:20

Not yet asleep. This bed is freezing. And today hasn’t been exciting. Welcome to the life of Gloria! Wohoo! I bet all my friends are clubbing, shaking their boon boons till they drop dead. Others to wake up with terrible hangovers by the time the sun has already set!  And I, the terribly sweet child carefully tucked into my bed! Let me laugh at that. Okay I’m not into booze and drugs but sometimes I want some time to shake these bones without consequence. Shida ni I have a lot to think about, a whole lot to worry and fix.

I was thinking maybe we could fix a certain day for fun! Yay! I’m dead serious by the way! For hanging out and talking; if you are up for it. It will do us some good. You won’t be bored because me na wazimu zangu are a real great company. I’m thinking ice-cream then swimming in a river (lol), skating haha! Playing make-up(ok that sounds all girl stuff) and maybe wrestling?? Fantastic right? 

Figured I’ve never had best friends to do that with me but I’ll recruit you! I know you wanna say no, We can make a blood pact too… totally awesome, ndio siku moja ukidai, “Get the f*** out of my face bitch. I don’t wanna see your face in a thousand light years” nakushow, a-a. We mixed our blood. Sharp me. We should really do that. Okay gotta sleep on these plans, nione how that can happen in Earth-Reality. AWESOME!!!

My grandma’s been acting like a neurotic bitch. I know that deserves a slap, calling her so, but she’s been crawling up our butts and that is not a pleasant feeling. She’s been blackmailing her kids by screaming `Oh I’m gonna die! In fact, I’m dying!’ That drama is to make them go see her! We haven’t refused but anatupa tantrums nyingi. Next time I bet we’ll be hearing that she’s pounding the floor with her hands like a child. DRAMA QUEEN. 

A Night with the Men of Hollywood

Last night I dreamt of many things. I love my dream especially when I know that I ‘m dreaming, and I am still intelligent enough to figure my way through and have fun.  So I had my fun when I had a boy crush with a face of the guy in Twisted. Avan Jogia. Damn, never thought I could still crush on him. I don’t have a clue about his age so I can’t start hitting on him. But in dreamland it is allowed. With caution. 

He was took the form of a man of an Arabic descent.I went to visit him at his home. They had a house that looked like those classrooms found in most of Public schools. The house was big though. His name was Sultan but I preferred found myself addressing him as Suli. Then his mom turned neurotic at some point. She forbid me from ever seeing him. So I went outside and screamed ‘TYLER!!!’ Suli change into Tyler Hoechlin, from Teen Wolf. Lol. To my relief he came to my rescue. He scolded his mom and warned her to stop being nasty to me. Yaay. And then at some point his skin on his forehead turned a shade darker, like a tan. But I could still see his eyes colour when I kissed his forehead.

I wonder what was going on in my head, dreaming about these two men. I don't know much about their personal life, but I know they are cute, I like their acting skills and I am a big fan obviously!!!

Experienced Babysitter? :(

There is nothing as cute as a baby. I always fall hard for them whether human or animal. Their sheer naivety and innocence is both a good and scary thing. No one could resist the urge to pick them up and smother them with kisses.But it is a nightmare when I have to calm them when they scream for their mothers. Those piercing screams that get louder whenever you try to shush them. If you want to stress someone let them baby sit your two faced baby. I have played a baby sitter to most of my cousin's kids since when I was about 9 years. Someone would think I would be better at this job but it just doesn't work like that. I was actually better during those years. Unless you get paid sums of money then I too would give it another try. Change the diapers, clean them up, coerce them to eat their food while running after them. Getting them to sleep is another energy-drenching task. My cousin loved to run around when he was four. I practically hard to pin him down till he cried to sleep. Oops. I hope you are not reading this blog😆.

So the point is I like helping my family out with the baby. But it is not something I like doing every time. Babysitting relieves the parents, giving them time to take care of other things. And it shouldn't be misused either. Some kids have suffered at the hands of evil nannies who assault them when the parents/guardians are not home. Parents just have to balance time at work and at home, to be safe and to make sure the babies are in good shape. Otherwise I don't want to play mum the whole week.

I may not be enthusiastic every time about taking kids but I still know you have to be patient. Don't let the kids bully you to backing down. Lol. The highly active kids are like wild tornadoes so I would understand if someone wanted to give up. Try to make it playful when it comes to bathing, Kids like colorful stuff so improve the food and make it fun! And naps yeah, play until they drop because of exhaustion but make sure they sleep on time.
A few more days of being around the baby and he will get used to your company. It gets easier with time. Or not!